Losing my Luggage… and What I Gained from It
In late April of this year, I finally journeyed back home to visit my family in the suburbs of Raleigh, North Carolina after more than a year away due to the pandemic. I spent two weeks of reenergizing family time with my mother, sister, and nephew. My nephew and I even took a road trip together, just the two of us for the first time, and we had more fun than I ever could have expected. The trip was his idea, so that was a moment that let me know that my years of trying to cultivate a strong relationship with him has paid off. Mother’s Day occurred during the time I was at home, and I endeavored to make it memorable. I had a surprise breakfast delivered on that Sunday morning, and my mother was so pleasantly surprised. Mind you, the breakfast was from IHOP, but my mom appreciated it as if it were from a five-star establishment. I even got a Mother’s Day gift for my sister as well, and I spent several evenings at her home, watching movies and sharing dinner and dessert together. Lots of family bonding. All in all, I would say that this family trip was wildly successful… Everything turned out perfectly.
I returned home to my apartment in Tempe, Arizona all smiles… It wasn’t until my trip was technically complete that it all went south. It was like winning a marathon and then finding out that your sensor fell off and your finish time was never captured. (I hope that’s not a real thing.) I turned the key of my door and was relieved that everything was still in order. I had created disturbing fantasies in my head that I had left the refrigerator door ajar, or that I had accidentally left now-putrid remnants in my garbage disposal. But alas, everything was copacetic, and I breathed a fresh-scented sigh of relief. I began a little light unpacking… I took my laptop out of my backpack and placed it at its normal home on my office table. And then it hit me.
I decided to start unpacking some of the items from my main large luggage bag, but it was nowhere within eyeshot. I concluded that of course I had not already taken it into my bedroom, so where could it be? My goodness – I had absent-mindedly left it outside my front door! My first eloquent thought was “Oh crap!”, but on the other hand, I had every confident expectation that all I had to do was open my front door and retrieve it.
To my enormous shock, it was not there. It was one of those moments when you realize what has happened, but your mind is frantically racing trying to think and grasp for a logical explanation for why you are experiencing what you are experiencing. Did I leave it in the Uber car? – Well, no. I specifically remember retrieving it from the hatchback of the van. Did I leave it in the elevator to my apartment? – Of course not, that’s preposterous! But where else could it be? I was absolutely baffled to explain how my luggage was not sitting outside my door. I desperately peered up and down the hallway as if the bag would suddenly regenerate itself in front of my very eyes and I would say ‘Oh there it is!’ But alas, there was no unsolicited magician there to say “Ta-da… I tricked you, didn’t I?… Here’s your bag back!” Dreadfully, the realization set in that the bag was really gone and I overcame my disbelief that someone had purloined about two to three thousand dollars worth of my personal items from my supposedly secure apartment complex which featured enclosed hallways and electronically locked entrances. This was not the kind of residential building that you’d expect something so classless to happen.
But then a sense of calm set in. Not in a weird meditational kind of way, but calm nonetheless. I felt that this was all okay and that somehow the Universe was going to make this right and maybe even turn it into an ironic blessing. Where did I come up with such an insane conclusion? Experience. I have been fired and gotten a new job two weeks later. At one point, I was miserable living in Atlanta and I dreamed of moving out west, and within a year I had a full fellowship in a master’s program that I had no prior experience with. The Universe has a way of saving you from real or sometimes even perceived threats in the most unanticipated ways. Thus I sensed that there would be no disastrous consequences to losing this bag. And there were lessons I’d learned in life that were relevant to this unexpected misfortune.
1) First, it’s important to realize what is and isn’t important. Possessions most often do not fall into the category of being important, even though you may have convinced yourself that they are. Obviously I am aware that there are glaring exceptions to this rule, and I am not speaking of those situations. However, in this situation, I assessed that I had safely flown back and forth all the way across the country, still alive and intact. I had arrived back home safely, having had no accident in my Uber car. My physical body, which is important, was in the same shape as when I had left home two weeks ago. What’s more, I had spent two marvelously memorable weeks with my family that I would treasure as one of the best trips home with my family that I’d ever had. All of that was eminently more important than what I lost in my luggage.
2) Focus on the positive. Part of my calm came from the fact that there was nothing I lost in my luggage that would set my life back in any consequential way. My personal laptop, my work laptop, the fob that use to connect my work laptop to my job…, my wallet, my keys, my phone… were all in my personal backpack. Admittedly, this was strategic and intentional on my part, but what if I had on the spur of the moment decided to put one of those items in my large bag just to reduce the weight in my backpack as I schlepped through the airport? I was apt to do that on occasion, so it was as if the Universe had cosmically deterred me from having that option enter my head.
3) Assess the situation and think about what resources and past experiences you can draw upon to help you resolve the situation. I called the insurance agency to see if they had a clause that would actually cover an insured client’s rank stupidity. Well that’s not exactly how I phrased my inquiry, but in my mind that’s what it really boiled down to. Fortunately, I knew the whole claim process already because I had already experienced two thefts of bikes in the last two years. These prior losses had in effect turned into a gain of practical knowledge. I therefore already knew that a wide range of losses were claimable – a much wider range than I previously thought. Before those prior thefts, I just believed renter’s insurance covered losses after break-ins to your personal residence.
Despite having some reticence about calling the insurance company and reporting such daft carelessness on my part – literally leaving my luggage outside my door to be stolen – I also at the same time had a well-learned confidence that the Universe would not allow this mishap to happen without it working out to my benefit in some fashion.
Sure enough, within a week I had a check for $2500, just in time for my trip to Las Vegas with my three best friends. I had already scheduled this long-overdue trip; it had been a whopping 6 ½ years since we had all convened together. I had obviously planned on having enough money to fund the trip, but ultimately I was well shy of the money needed to fund my expenses for lodging, dining, and other miscellaneous expenses. I would have run out of money after about two days, but thanks to my windfall, I didn’t have to cry poverty and endure the embarrassment of having to bail out of going out to dinner… or the indignity of having to leave a day early because I couldn’t afford the last few days of the hotel… or worse yet having to ask my friends for money to get me through.
In the end, the “muscle memory” of prior negative situations, big and small, that the Universe has brought me through inspired me to have trust and belief that the Universe would make me whole after this unfortunate situation that seemed major in the moment, but minor after the initial freak-out. Losses often turn into gains. Losing my luggage after one meaningful trip with my family paved an avenue for me to wholly enjoy a meaningful and stress-free trip with my closest friends.
I’d prefer not to ever lose anything I own… but there’s a sense of peace and serenity that is gained by stepping back,
realizing immediately when that loss is ultimately unimportant,
focusing on the positive aspects of the situation, and
drawing upon your past experiences and knowledge to help you recover from it.